Justice League Avengers: Manchild Uprising
DC and Marvel Comics unite for the first time on the big screen. When an army of middle-aged men in Iron Man T-shirts storm the Justice League to avenge the heresy of merging the two comic book universes, heroes from DC and Marvel team up to protect superherokind. In addition to Aquaman, Superman, and Captain America,Justice League Avengers will feature less familiar superheroes such as Bolphunga, Cicada, King Tut, Poundcakes, Thundarr, Valerie Van Haaften, Ferret Boy, and the Green Juggalo. (Cameos by the Hulk, Thor, and Zach Galifianakis.)
Pinocchio and the Desert Storm Sniper
Fans of Snow White and the Huntsman will be excited for this dark reimagining of the Pinocchio story. A star-studded cast includes Shia LaBeouf (Pinocchio), Jon Voight (Geppetto), Matthew McConaughey (Jiminy Cricket), and Nick Nolte (Desert Storm Sniper). Trend watch: Cinderella and the Crossbow and Beauty and the C.H.U.D. are both in preproduction, so stay tuned!
Booker T. Washington Fucks Up the Mummy
Hot off the heels of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, this action-packed romp is the second in a trilogy that will climax in 2014 with Harriet Tubman: Undead Shark Slayer. (Cameo by the Hulk.)
The Oscar Winner
Oscar buzz is already stirring for Meryl Streep’s latest biopic The Oscar Winner, starring Meryl Streep as herself. Early previews suggest that Streep nails her angelic poise and signature self-satisfaction with a grace that only a true star of middlebrow film could achieve. As always, this chameleon of an actress showcases her enviable range by refusing to stay in her comfort zone.